"Sleeping is the only time to feel real freedom... Because there are no rules in dreaming..."

I am a total mess recently.

A complete wreck.

An overly-emotional freak.

I seriously believe that people around me must secretly think that I'm crazy, or at least have lost my mind.

You see, that's what most people think.

They think they kinda know me, sorta know what's on my mind and what I'm going through.

But the truth is, they don't. They really don't.

Do they know that behind all that make up, lame jokes and random conversations...

I am just a girl, trying to hold it all up like a woman?
I am totally insecure and sensitive?
I am weak and fragile?

I need constant care & concern?
I need words of encouragement?
I need lots of understanding and patience?

Do they know all these? I don't think so.

What they know, is what they wanna see in me, what they expect me to be.

To be strong,
To be forgiving,
To be all sweet & nice,

To have no anger,
To have no fear,
To have no voice.

They say I'm too deep of a thinker, I need to stop reading between those lines,
They say that I'm often over-reacting, that everything is just a misunderstanding, They say that they don't see a problem, and that I should let it go.

But, saying isn't so baby, it never works that way.

Love,
M

P/S: I'm tired of crying. But the tears, they just fall down naturally.